Connect in the back of the net

I’ve been watching ladies’

football,

As it progressed day by

day

And came to the conclusion

That they don’t know how

to play.

 

I’ve been watching ladies’

football,

And can’t see it will thrive.

Maybe a hundred players

But none knew how to

dive.

 

I’ve been watching ladies’

football,

And the tactics were quite

sound.

Though when knocked

down, they just got up,

With no writhing on the

ground.

 

I’ve been watching ladies’

football,

And they’re fit, there is

no doubt,

But they must learn that

a set piece

Is an all-in wrestling bout.

 

I’ve been watching ladies’

football,

And confess I was amused

That no one comprehended

The ref’s there to be abused.

 

I’ve been watching ladies’

football,

And thought of things I’d

missed,

The tugged shirt, the elbow,

Snarling face and angry

fist.

 

I’ve been watching ladies’

football,

And will certainly watch

more,

Though they suffer the

delusion

That football’s sport not

war.

 

And now that it’s all

over

I’ve memories to treasure,

Do try watching ladies’

football;

It’s a wondrous sporting

pleasure.

 

Written by Darryl Ashton Darryl Ashton

Follow Darryl on Twitter @AlfGarnettJnr

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ALSO: Please check out Darryl’s two fascinating new books – one on football poetry: My Crazy World of Football Poetry, and the more politically-inducing: My Amazing World of Poems and Political Satire. Both are available to order on Amazon.