I’ve been watching ladies’
football,
As it progressed day by
day
And came to the conclusion
That they don’t know how
to play.
I’ve been watching ladies’
football,
And can’t see it will thrive.
Maybe a hundred players
But none knew how to
dive.
I’ve been watching ladies’
football,
And the tactics were quite
sound.
Though when knocked
down, they just got up,
With no writhing on the
ground.
I’ve been watching ladies’
football,
And they’re fit, there is
no doubt,
But they must learn that
a set piece
Is an all-in wrestling bout.
I’ve been watching ladies’
football,
And confess I was amused
That no one comprehended
The ref’s there to be abused.
I’ve been watching ladies’
football,
And thought of things I’d
missed,
The tugged shirt, the elbow,
Snarling face and angry
fist.
I’ve been watching ladies’
football,
And will certainly watch
more,
Though they suffer the
delusion
That football’s sport not
war.
And now that it’s all
over
I’ve memories to treasure,
Do try watching ladies’
football;
It’s a wondrous sporting
pleasure.
Written by Darryl Ashton
Follow Darryl on Twitter @AlfGarnettJnr
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ALSO: Please check out Darryl’s two fascinating new books - one on football poetry: My Crazy World of Football Poetry, and the more politically-inducing: My Amazing World of Poems and Political Satire. Both are available to order on Amazon.