Connect in the back of the net

I am a Premier League footballer –
and sometime’s I feel numb,
And every time I score a goal –
I tend to suck my thumb!
I play for West Ham United, also
known as ‘the Hammers’,
But when I start to suck my
thumb – my team mates get
the jitters!!

I must admit it makes a change
from all the constant snogging;
‘So as I now suck my thumb –
I’ve also started jogging!’
It takes me back to nursery
school – when I was just a
Every time I sucked my thumb –
it drove the nurses wild!!

Even on the playing pitch – and
the weather is oh so shocking,
I’d tend to run about too much –
showing off my skin-tight
We would also carry our mobile
phones – and send a text to our
But when I’m sucking on my
thumb – I’m starting brand new

I play my football skillfully – and
we have a lot of fun,
And then in the winter – I jet
off to get some sun.
I fly to warmer climates – as the
UK’s cold numbs my bum,
But I always will feel much
better – when I’m sucking on
my thumb!!!!

My name is Dimitri Payet, and
I play for West Ham United,
I scored two great wonder
goals – and got so very excited.
I started celebrating – and my
team mates grabbed my bum,
And all that excitement – it made
me suck my thumb!!!!


Written by Darryl Ashton 

Follow Darryl on Twitter @AlfGarnettJnr

Check out more of his brilliant work at his Google+ page

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