I am a Premier League footballer -
and sometime’s I feel numb,
And every time I score a goal -
I tend to suck my thumb!
I play for West Ham United, also
known as ‘the Hammers’,
But when I start to suck my
thumb - my team mates get
the jitters!!
I must admit it makes a change
from all the constant snogging;
‘So as I now suck my thumb -
I’ve also started jogging!’
It takes me back to nursery
school - when I was just a
child,
Every time I sucked my thumb -
it drove the nurses wild!!
Even on the playing pitch - and
the weather is oh so shocking,
I’d tend to run about too much -
showing off my skin-tight
stocking!
We would also carry our mobile
phones - and send a text to our
girlfriends,
But when I’m sucking on my
thumb - I’m starting brand new
trends!
I play my football skillfully - and
we have a lot of fun,
And then in the winter - I jet
off to get some sun.
I fly to warmer climates - as the
UK’s cold numbs my bum,
But I always will feel much
better - when I’m sucking on
my thumb!!!!
My name is Dimitri Payet, and
I play for West Ham United,
I scored two great wonder
goals - and got so very excited.
I started celebrating - and my
team mates grabbed my bum,
And all that excitement - it made
me suck my thumb!!!!
Written by Darryl Ashton 
Follow Darryl on Twitter @AlfGarnettJnr
Check out more of his brilliant work at his Google+ page
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