Donald Trump: New President of the USA and owner of the Premier League

My name is Donald Trump
I am the new U.S. President,
Now I will change things –
and make a mega statement.

We are going to have our
lunch – at my inaugural
ceremony –
From ‘lobster’ to ‘roast
beef-steaks’ – it’s cost me a lot
of money.

I will also watch some
soccer – especially the
English Premier League,
it’ll be just like the White
House – plenty of intrigue!

I also enjoy some golf,
in a country called: ‘Scotland.’
Maybe I’l eat some haggis –
if I wave my magic wand!

I really do like Manchester
United – and Liverpool are
also great,
And, just like me, they do
go on – and they never
accept defeat!

I love to flirt in the spotlight,
and make my presence felt,
But, now, I’m in the top job –
maybe I’ll have my collar

I even like the Arsenal – and
Chelsea, and Man City,
And I also enjoy their half
time breaks, I think I’m
Walter Mitty!!!!

I really like Europe – now
they are very special,
All the soccer talent that’s
on show – no need for any

We American’s enjoy the
cream of English soccer,
And now I am the U.S.
President – let’s see what
is on offer?

Football and the soccer,
it means the same to us.
We Americans are clever –
we don’t cause a lot of

My name is Donald Trump –
and now I am the future,
English soccer is for me –
as my presidency is now

The future is now mine,
as I cause lots more intrigue,
The President of America –
I will now buy the English
Premier League!

We dine today on first class
food, we only have the best,
Drinking lots of champagne,
and I spill mine on my vest!

I now have sworn my staff
in – and all of them on oath.
They are all fans of English
soccer – like me “swearing”
on my trove!

We can chat away tonight
my friends, and I’ll also
watch TV.
But I will never watch BT
Sport – as I is no longer

I will dance the night away,
but I’ll hold on to my hair,
I’m as bald as Sir Bobby
Charlton, really, – but, do
I really care?

My name is Donald Trump –
and now I am the boss.
But I know a lot of people –
who just couldn’t give a

God Bless America – and
all that glorious intrigue,
I’m the President of the
U.S.A. – and the owner
of the; ‘English Premier
Soccer League!’


Written by Darryl Ashton Darryl Ashton

Follow Darryl on Twitter @AlfGarnettJnr

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ALSO: Please check out Darryl’s two fascinating new books – one on football poetry: My Crazy World of Football Poetry, and the more politically-inducing: My Amazing World of Poems and Political Satire. Both are available to order on Amazon.