Connect in the back of the net

I wish I was a footballer
in the English Premier League,
I’d be a millionaire you
see – as it’s full of mass

He wants to be a footballer
and earn a lot of money.
Welcome to the English Premier League, the land
of milk and honey.

I’d play so good and earn
my pay, well, that is what
I say.
But when I score a goal
or two – I’ll go to church
and pray!

He’ll score a goal and
shout hooray, and never
feel dismay.
Then he’ll go to church
and kneel, and to his
master pray.

I pray to be a footballer,
and help the world to
And God would have a
holy ball by opening up
his door.

He’d pray to God just
to score and make the
world okay.
And every day before
a game everyone would

I’m proud to be a
footballer and poverty
I will banish.
I used to play for Real
Madrid – because I
love the Spanish.

He’s proud to be a
footballer and he is
also Spanish.
And when he plays
on the pitch, all the
poverty does vanish.

I want to be a
footballer and save
the human race.
And bless the poor
and hungry folk who
cannot feed their face.

He’ll help the poor
and feed the hungry,
and bless the way
He’ll save the world
and stop all wars
never more to dread.

I long to be a famous
man and play my
game of football.
To help the needy
and not the greedy,
and then I’ll hear
the call.

He longs to be a
famous man and use
his ‘four-leaf-clover’.
And do all this and
a whole lot more –
when he’s a famous

To be a famous
footballer, is my
chosen career,
And if I ever score
a goal – everyone
will cheer.

To be a famous
footballer and
score a goal or
I’ll try to change
this world of ours,
not just for the
privileged few!

The lord has
blessed me with
a talent – I’m not
just a “pretty” face.
I now play football
so skilfully, and I
always now say

He now plays football
and says grace,
he is also born again.
Now he’s happy in
the sun – now retired
in sunny Spain!


Written by Darryl Ashton 

Follow Darryl on Twitter @AlfGarnettJnr

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ALSO: Please check out Darryl’s two fascinating new books – one on football poetry: My Crazy World of Football Poetry, and the more politically-inducing: My Amazing World of Poems and Political Satire. Both are available to order on Amazon.