My name is Alf Garnett,
and I’m married to a
silly moo,
Every day I get up - she
tells me what to do!
I am a big West Ham
United fan - (up the
hammers!),
I follow them where-
ever they go - oh, I give
some lectures!!
I go to watch them play -
and I sometimes use
my wheelchair,
I ask Merrigold to push
me - because he’s paid
to care?
I do like to rant a lot -
and the West Ham shirt,
I will wear,
I can’t control my
emotions - I always
have to swear!!
I also like the England -
when they won in 1966 -
Some say we were lucky -
some say it was a fix!!!!
I have my Sunday lunch,
and watch the TV soccer,
But, my irate wife is doing
the ironing - I really
should help her!!
But, I have to get ready -
to go and watch West
Ham -
I get sick and very tired -
of travelling on a tram.
I have to make this
journey - ever single week,
Then I have to queue at
the match - they have a
bloody cheek!!
Once I am there - I sit in
the disabled area,
I keep a watchful eye out -
the stewards are always
there.
If I use my wheelchair -
and take Marigold, as well,
He’s always prancing
around the place - he
really makes me yell!!
So, welcome to the
hammers - and West Ham
United,
You can all come in - but
only if your invited!!
Come and sit next to me -
and my carer - Marigold,
Enjoy the game - and
the win - well, this is what
I’m told!!!!
Written by Darryl Ashton 
Follow Darryl on Twitter @AlfGarnettJnr
Check out more of his brilliant work at his Google+ page
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