A Football Poem: Retirement Is Now The Cure For Wayne Rooney

Wayne Rooney is in a
moody – is he now too
Is he past his sell by
date – the truth will
now unfold.

With new players
coming in – and he
feels so isolated,
Is it time for Rooney
to leave – which has
been widely speculated!

Yes, he was a brilliant
player, but age has
now took over,
He’s really feeling so
depressed – he’s not
really in clover.

He is the captain of
Man United, that is
very true,
But he isn’t now
performing well – for
himself, and he’s
feeling very blue.

He is also captain of
the England team –
but has that now all
dried out?
They haven’t won
any tournaments –
his leadership’s now
in doubt.

Is it time to quit? Or
maybe it’s time to
Before any more
embarrassing results,
your position is now
under fire!

He can now retire –
on a massive “gold-
plated” pension.
But keep that to
yourselves, folks,
I really shouldn’t

For his monthly
pay is staggering –
there is no love
in his game.
He collects “one
million” pounds
a month – that’s
how he makes
his name!

He is now 36-
years-old – and
he sure is feeling
the pressure.
But uncle Jose
Mourinho – comes
to ‘help’ reassure!

But time is now
the judge, and it
will have the final
Wayne Rooney
should now retire –
and still keep his
mega pay!!!!

There is new young
players coming in –
and Rooney is not
He runs around the
pitch a lot – and he’s
feeling very tired.

Is this now the end,
for Wayne Rooney
at Manchester United?
Roll up! Roll up, my
friends – a party you’re
all invited!

The retirement party
for Wayne Rooney –
as he says a fond
As he walks away
from the game –
does he have a cry!

His United and
England career is
over, that I know
for sure.
My name is Wayne
Rooney – retirement
is now the cure!


Written by Darryl Ashton 

Follow Darryl on Twitter @AlfGarnettJnr

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ALSO: Please check out Darryl’s two fascinating new books – one on football poetry: My Crazy World of Football Poetry, and the more politically-inducing: My Amazing World of Poems and Political Satire. Both are available to order on Amazon.